I know yesterday I was bitching about having nothing to read, but it's my livejournal, so I get to contradict myself if I want. Kind of like "it's my story, so I get to be incoherent if I want", only with more focus on quality.

Ahem.

mmebahorel expressed the opinion that Mizfandom is in a rut, and maybe she's right. Certainly, from my perspective, there's a dearth of new and exciting stuff.

Not that nobody has written decent fic in the past six months, mind you, but that there's a general drought. And when I say "decent fic", I don't just mean well written. There's a generous handful of pretty vignettes on ff.net and elsewhere, to the tune of "He's So Pretty When He's Sleeping (It's A Shame He Hates Me So)". (If that sounds like a bad country & western song, there's probably a reason.)

Most of these vignettes are well written. But that's not enough. The notion that our fearless blond boy is routinely sleeping with the enemy is turning into nearly as pervasive a cliche as... as the notion that Eponine's a knockout with perfect teeth and luscious curves who just needs maybe a facewash. Neither of these assumptions are supported by canon (unless you count the well-fed actresses playing the gamine). And none of these vignettes give even a nod to the why and wherefore. It's Enjolras and Grantaire. In bed. That's all we need to know, right?

Wrong.

Sometimes you get a variation. The enduring saga of Joly and his Eagle, who share everything, and we do mean everything. The marble lover of liberty inexplicably crushing on Monsieur Grey-Shade-of-Quiet-Mouse-Colour, or being completed and corrected in the arms of his faithful philosopher-sidekick. Or swooning poets. I'm surprised there aren't more swooning poets.

But it's all sort of stale. I mean, I like Ami slash as well as the next girl. It's just that I like plot, too. I like stories. And whereas in other fandoms "Plot? What Plot?" implies sex in place of plot-- which can be fun, or at least mildly interesting-- in this neck of the woods, it's likely to mean just what it says. Yawn.

Good slashfic doesn't just show me Boy One and Boy Two making out (or more likely, chastely cuddling). It shows me why they're doing it, and preferably how they started. It shows me why Boy Two, instead of Girl or Boy Three. It has some kind of point beyond the author saying "look! I made 'em kiss!", even if it's nothing more earth-shattering than that they're good for each other. Or that they're not, but that lust conquers all.

Dammit, if you want to write stuff, know why you're writing it. I get the feeling that a lot of this stuff is written just to follow the trend. Mlle. X writes Grantaire angst after Mme. Y after Suzette Q. after Lonely Gamine in the tradition of Quiara. Mlle. Z writes cutesy fluff after Eponine Umpteen after Rabsjavert with influences from Salatrel. Because the original was fun to read, so why not write a knockoff that's sure to be a hit?

But if I want to read Lonely Gamine or Quiara or Rabbit or Salatrel, I'll read them. If I'm going to read you, it's because I want to know what you have to say. You write your own stuff in your own way. Figure out what makes your boys just that much different from anybody else's, and show me-- or why should I care?

And for Christ's sake get a new theme. How many Rs are as dumb as Sébastien and think adoring thoughts every night about guys who insult them before breakfast? For that matter, how many flawed statues go for illicit sex to the single most obnoxious human being they know?

In fact, here. I'll throw out a bunch of ideas. Newborn plot bunnies, free to a good home. Tell your friends, 'kay?

Scenario 1 - Adolescent Enjolras and adolescent Grantaire fall madly in love. Someone catches them making out in the 19th-century equivalent of the little boys', and chastisement ensues. E is so traumatized that he refuses to have anything to do with R thereafter, though R, incorrigible, trails around after him for years.

Scenario 2 - R falls madly in love with what looks through a window like a beautiful blonde girl (hey, it says he's effeminate-looking right there in the text. Make good use of it), only to find out the discomfiting truth. Much angst (and possibly kissing) follows as he tries and fails to cure his crush. It's "The Blood of Angry Women", only backwards!

Scenario 3 - (Slightly used, but still in good condition) Politically astute but otherwise naive E finds himself inexplicably lusting after R, not that he knows enough to call it that. Bemused R either a) humors him with mixed feelings, or b) nervously repulses him, adding fuel to E's contempt, or c) you think of something.

Scenario 4 - Months of unacknowledged sexual tension culminate in a furtive screw in the Rue de Mondetour. Hell, why not?

Scenario 5 - Evil!R, having sat in on a couple of years' worth of seditious meetings, blackmails E into sleeping with him. Angst and/or unexpected affection ensue. (And if you think there's no such thing as an Evil!R, ask la_reine_bleu. Or quiara. If, on the contrary, you really like the idea of Evil!R, maybe he can blackmail Jehan into the bargain.)

Scenario 6 - If you really just want moonlit angst, have Enjolras lie awake thinking soul-searching thoughts for a change.

If none of these float your boat, then at least they should give you an idea of the possibilities inherent in E/R slash beyond the Abusive Relationship and the Plotless Melancholia. There are another whole set of possibilities when you get into other Amis. Take my failed idea and have Joly pining for a Bossuet who loves him dearly -- as a friend. Or have Courfeyrac decide that his protege is awfully damn cute, and set out to woo him away from that wench in Rue Plumet. Or set the romantic poet's affections on his beautiful and unattainable Fearless Leader.

See? Plot is really the easy part.

Discussion?